I need two bank accounts. funny comical kitchen tea towel

Our towels are sewn and printed by hand (by our all female team!) in Michigan from 100% unbleached cotton. They measure approximately 24" x 26" when opened up, and can be thrown in the washer and dryer. They're printed with an eco-friendly, water-based ink, that's good for the environment and soft to the touch! They make a great hostess gift with a bottle of wine, or a fun stocking stuffer or white elephant gift too! KEYWORDS: I need two bank accounts, one for sober, responsible me that pays the bills and buys organic food, And one for intoxicated me that tips 75% at the bar and buys all the things online, dieting, retail therapy, shopping addict, kitchen gifts for entertaining, snarky towels, kitchen accessories, cooking, entertaining, bff gifts, funny tea towel, bestie gifts, screen printed towel, dish towels, dish rags, cloths for dishes, cleaning rag, funny sayings, tea towels, kitchen towels, made in Michigan, made in USA, flour sack towels, snarky gifts